wed 25th april 2007-after months of preparation and few last minute panics night before as find my panniers don't fit bike, well i'm off-a quick goodbye to missus and little un who's still in bed asleep and then i'm heading to boat-top of my mind ain't the miles i'm about to do or the people i'm going to meet-it's making sure they tie my bike on properly on boat (did i have premonition for nige d'yer think? ) boat over was fantastic-weather warm and sunny and the sea was millpond calm and the trip went even smoother as got chatting to a long time biker friend of mine and another lad-who we bumped into waiting to board with his v-strom and who we've now convinced to sign on as marshal!!! liverpool-well i was waiting round liverpool for nige to get there so visited various mates-who all had a little gleam in their eyes-hopefully none to jealous-they all want a go next year!and whilst i was there i practised me in lane filtering-god it's amazing how unused to large volumes of traffic you get whilst on island riding! met nige of boat with the words of his phonecall ringing in me ears "the rope snapped and they dropped me bike!", charlie hulse was also there to get andy from boat to ascot-our first nights accomodation!wonderful plae-nice food and comfy cheap place to sleep! next day-or was it only a few hours later??????i'm in leathers riding to knutsford to meet some of the maddest, fastest, funniest, kindest bunch of lads i've ever had honour to ride with first group was at knutsford-second group was at lands end! the ride from knutsford to lands end was quite literally a killer-we filtered thru the whole of m6 from knutsford to m5 turn off-the fastest we got was about 40!mind and body numbingly painful-certainly made me hope the whole ride weren't going to be like this! then we got of m6/5 and onto a30-and that's when we got to play with the new tyres-at no point in the whole of ride did i ever have any concern with those boots from avon-now i'm not a technical rider i'm not mechanically minded but i do know that that rubber did what i wanted whether sat upright or banked over,whether fast, very fast or slow, whether going up hill, down dale or lost on a dirt track in glencoe, i cant thank steve enough for his donation to the ride-the best testimonial you can get for a tyre is would you ever put it on your bike again-my answer is hell yes-in a moment! so thru a30 to lands end we had fun, we stopped couple of times to take in scenery but we knew we had to be somewhere in hurry lands end was nice-bit too much of tourist trap tho-bring lots of cash if you want to get proper photo with the official pole or view some of the odd side shows....why doctor who visited there i don't know-but he left his stuff behind so it's now a feature!!! then the bikes were stickered up-and with a bit of precision artwork involved-to ensure they looked spot on-and by hell they did-classy then once the cameras were put on-this really had everyone buzzing-forward and rear facing cameras were to record the whole journey with niges son andy in the vancam aswell this amongst others really hit home the fact of what we were about to do and everyone, i mean EVERYONE had the biggest kid at christmas grin on their faces-nervous hell yes-in that lets go a roller coaster rid nervousness giddy feeling-everyone just wanted to be off-but first some last minute tweaking of a certain kwak who's arse appeared to be needing a quick screw so back up the a30-and cos i had the rear facing cam i got the honour of leading the rest of the crew of!!!amazingthose roads were nice and twisty and really smooth-ok we nearly had to pull a couple of lads out of the arse of couple of horses we met roumnd a blind left hander but hey-the vid is excellent! the noise of all the bikes when all started up is fantastic and even better whewn everyone winds it on together-i'm sure everyone in that part of the country could hear the roar! we stopped at okehampton that evening and we got in just as it started to rain-a quick lock up of bikes and rescue of cameras, a quick change and then find nearest pub-excellent-it's across the road....er a dual carriage way-yep we lemminged over had a few (karl was on coke no matter what piccies you see) a bit of food and met the local emtertainment the group really gelled that night and thru the first days ride-we all were excited and really looking forward to what tomorrow would bring....well some of us were also kept awake by the earth tremor that was wills snoring but thats another story! _________________ day2-okehampton to garstang-before i did this ride i wouldn't be able to point thes out on map.....er nope-still can't hence getting lost a couple of times! 6am we got up-raced to shower-did fancy sharing with will or kev496903560396730!so scrubbed now breakfast-the poor woman must've had a fit when a group of miscreant dressed like bikers poored into her portacabin-but we all got decent food and coffee so we happy...then few delays getting everyon off but managed in end and of we went.....thru some stunning scenery-but nothing to compare to what we came to when we got to scotland-but i'm getting ahead of me'sen=so me and lazer were paired of otday and were following quite nice routine of swapping lead and generally having bit of fun-our little group joined kev and nigel and the four of us had a nice little bimble whils others went full throttle! foxys route cards were great-short to the point and easy to readand the miles just flew-then i had my first ultimate experience-bimbling along being mindful of the scenery riding thru tree enclosed roads and next minute i'm suspended hundreds of feet in air riding over severn bridge-i just couldn't keep my eyes on road-i was looking left and right-being a real tourist-and hey i did that quite a lot in this trip-every bridge was amazing and we went over lots of em! so we were in wales-and we got a quick 15 minute shower of rain to remind us-we filled up at service station and seanydude joined us-getting of a certain roundabout proved a bit tricky-how many lapsd did we do?8???and of we went again-me and lazer noted later that day that we at times turned into one big organism where we could see a long snake of bikes each following the one in front, every line speed change...amazing and hypnotic absolutely flowing beautiful...ok we had bit of oops looknig for a4137-al and will found it...and a bike cop-the rest of us went by the sign for it going "er shouldn't we've turned down there???"but heywe found a really nice road instead and we all met up again-will found another antipodean who sorted out a minor thingummy on his bike and we were off-through places like hereford shropshire etc the miles just flew, the sun shone and we all still had those silly grins on our faces we finally got to rivington barn late that day-what a wonderful little bit of road and country and the cream cakes there a excellent from there we had nice little ride to next digs at garstang with promise the roads next day were gonna be even better but first food ok we went into a pub where everyone was dresed in black and someone went-"hey have we just walked into a wake??" which set off some crying-oops-yes we had!!!!still we stayed and had dinner-great food and great company night 2 wills snoring still terrible and kev84438976932 really regretting me managing to get couch before he did day 3 and 4 to follow when me fingers recover! _________________ day3-er possibly saturday england to scotland with the final member of the troop joining us-steve met us at gartsang travellodge that morning we set off with the idea that we'd all ride as group again-unfortunately we had to do bit of motorway again butfor most of day we were on roads that i could only describe as TTlikethrough places with odd names like shap and hartside-wow those roads are great-unfortunately i was on full tourist mode for few of them-hence hanging back as i caught sights some i had a bit of fun on-one point i was on right hand side of road banked over into right hand cornerwith not much left of road to right of me except verge when ste just put his 600 through it-we were so close i coulda got him pregnant!!!-he apologised for the move later but hell i thought it were bloody great-told him so at time it was a really sweet move-and cos john had headcam right behind us it's all on tape met up with bex and graham at hartside (isnt it funny that after so many threads where we've talked to each other you get to imagine how people look-and i was right bex is beautiful and graham is mad!the way he jumped on/off the back of that crazily driven truck whilst filming us!!!top people them both) finally met up with another fz1 owner-the first i've come across!but his is black which made me jealous, it also has a micron exhaust which made me really jealous and a powr commander which made me green with jealousy as the fz has a wee problem with the throttle snapping on and off so breakfast-just a few rounds of toast egss beans mushrooms tomatoes....hmmmm think i need to go on diet! then well we went up hartside now we need to go down-that roads excellent and can well see why locals call it the "miniTT", so as well as graham filming us we're joined by richard who came over special to get some piccies-cheers mate!sorry going slow every time rode past you-but was well into tourist mode by then this is where the nirvana moments really started to occur often-where every rider slotted into group and snaked thru various toads and corners-bliss....then will took detour to see some sheep-which he's blaming on highside but as soon as he heard that baaah that was it he was off! so me and lazer stopped little way down as we noticed he hadn't reappeared-must've been an orgy!!!with crazy percy we waited and waited and just as we were considering turning round here came will with a big grin on his face riding very loose! but we'd lost everyone else by then so toddled of on our own-missing the turning to brampton and filled up in the back of beyond!then waited on a76 for about 30 mins as we'd actually discovered one hell of a short cut and were way infront of all others! then bimbling thru now to scotland and the views just kept getting better and better and so did the roads and so did the people meeting up with us! the first of the great lakes was awe inspiring as well as the group who'd joined us, we'd met up at pub that crazy percy knew and they tagged along-great-one of them even had bog roll in his panniers-now thats planning....and useful they left us shortly after and we headed up to the highlands, the sun was over the yard arm and the combination of light, scenery and snow on mountain tops was spectacular we met more friends as we moved north but unfortunately we missed the opening times for green wellie-which set me stomach rumbling!!!so on up to glencoe-ok, i didn't see any sign saying welcome to glencoe, and cos of tourist mode i was soon left behind by others.....so when i see sign for bridge of orchy-which is mentioned on route card-well i turned up it....oops that roads nice, really nice but not on the route! after a while i get concerned thinking i've not seen anyone for while-so double back to turn off-ok theres a turn of to right-so i take that-nope not right either-luckily i find a hotel where a nice american tells me the whole of what i'm riding in is glencoe-so turn round-missing the loads of deer around the hotel-didn't get piccies tho-kept imagining miles of road between me and others.. get back to original road and shortly after kev and ste and karl find me and shepard me home-well kev does-ste and karl have another chance to play that nights accomodation-great-karl natters to barmaid who comes from that great scottish place called poland-so he impresses her by saying he's got mate in munich-really confusing her, he then nearly starts argi by asking barkeep who comes from checkoslovakia if thats anywhere near fife!the old soak by bar din't like his local having fun poked!!! that night well had great night sleep as no will snoring-ha fat chance-lazers worse!!!as well as kev25027598572395629576257826827e=mc hammer and nige and little andy and david-i thought i was in middle of herd of elephants!!!! _________________ day4-definitely sunday-i think! yay we can have lie in-well if snoring doesn't wake you! some of lads go play in glencoe again-i didn't as didn't fancy getting search and rescue out of bed that early on sunday am-they deserve lie in as well meanwhile ste advises lazer how to tw*t his rear shock with hammer and screwdriver so he's no longer riding on bike that more solid than titanic! well we all get some sort of rest anyway-then we're off to morrisons for breakfast!just another loaf of toast/eggs beans etc....and the most amazing view that i've ever seen from a supermarket, slightly saddened tho as i remarked on how great the view was to one of the shop workers-who just looked up said "yeah" and looked down again-ah well then we're off again-but be warned if you see us on a roundabout-give us a hand getting of it-don't know why but if we came across a roundabout we'd lap it a few times very odd behaviour indeed leaving fort william we really got into the highhighlands and look at this monument we visited nothing i can say would do it justice-it was tranquil and peaceful and beautiful and such a shame there were plaques/markers only a few days old left by families of the fallen in iraq and afghanistan certainly brought a lump and tear to a few eyes we left there a bit quieter and bit more humble to carry on rest of ride-we were aiming to get to john o groats today, and then to hostel in kingussie, so we needed to put foot down-ok i put it bit to far down and went into mad mode-and lost everyone bigstyle, on fumes (150mls left in tank when got to fill up) i rode into a town which i later found was inverness and rode aimlessly round looking for help-which i did by bumping into big red post office support van!!!apparently i'd just bombed past petrol station everyone else was at and next2 after that!!!those roads well worth visit-twisty and quick corneres with sheer rock on left and loch to right-so either bounce or swim or stay on road-i chose latter and tried to fly it!big grin on face till i realised i had no one with me....again managed to find the rest as they all pulled into inverness and we carried on from there, how to describe how desolate, barren and green full of nature the ride was all the way thru from inverness where on outskirts yet another amazing bridge was crossed all the way to jo'g...just a great snaking train of bikes riding thru quaint villages and past people who stopped what they were doing to watch-they must've thought the vikings had returned but on bikes instead of longships (hey that was good weren't it-do like me viking history me)....er where was i......must admit i was slowing down the more north i was going-still going fair pace but i think i didn't want it to end-ok we were still miles away from jo'g but once there that was end of official part of ride-the rest is going home bit of an oops also was going round roundabout me throttle stuck open-luckily i clutched quickly or i think i'd of been spat off bigstyle-think i scared will who was beside me at time but what did cheer us up was when we reached jo'g there was a bike club up there waiting to give us a cheque no more land left.... but i did suggest we did the next 2200 miles to north pole! after much discussion re 20p charge to have a pee we all pee'd round back and again we didn't spend all our money going to the pole signifying jo'g we just quickly took piccie before custodian saw us and ran up and picked it up and took it away! need another finger rest....back in bit later on after wandering around jo'g and admiring view and reminiscing about ride we headed back way we came, we'd waved of the crew who came up to visit us a while before hand, this was one of their bikes-big piece of work keeping that clean in north of scotland eh?so with a quick top up for the van-that beastie and john were great-he deserves a lot of recognition and thanks from us all-cheers mate! we headed towards kingussie-don't ask me i don't know where it is either!still the hostel was very memorable-especially the bike parking facilities-which involved riding round a little path to back of pub into pub beer garden! fell out of top bunk that night-we'd stayed in pub with vidcam linked to tv and watching our exploits till the barman woke up and asked us politely to move-especially as he'd spotted a copcar pass the bar and realised lights were still on! so we moved to tv in hostel.....gradually everyone drifted to bed...and some got woke up by me falling out of top bunk in middle of night! and no matter what anyone says the wet patch on floor was from leaky radiator-we noticedit as we walked into room! next day the 30th april was my 36th birthday-i opened a card in room to strains of lazer and wills snoring (from missus and little'un)-llater loadsa swearing getting bikes bike out thru same path...then decent scottish heart attack breakfast and on the road again-this was getting to us-we were all aware that we were going to be spliiting up today and was bit disheartening! the ride from knigussie to edinburgh to ste'sfolks was absloutley amazing-the sun was brighter than ever and everything was a vibrant green-i've founfd a palce i want to build a house-sheer beautiful, and the roads were brilliant...except for the odd pothole! this is where our group started to fragment-kev pi infinity and percyfox had peeld of as they had a bit of a ride to wales to get thru and this appeared to bing a lump to some very big lumps in the group!...including me! we got to ste's folks and we were greeted with a warm scottish homely welcome and bonny dog as well as mugs of coffee/butties/rolls/garlic bread and cakes-brilliant and thanks once again! it were obviously too much for some we left with even more memories and i must admit i'm scared i might've already forgotten some but the ride from there really was the end of the group, everyone started gonig their separate ways-me and nigel were heading back to heysham-we'd discussed it and decided to stay of motorways as much as possible-kev and al stayed with us.....i had a bird strike just of carlisle hitting a sparrow with me shoulder then we all needed to void bladder little while laterso pulled of to another pitstop, we also bizarrely managed to remeet up with karl and ste for little while-as we were riding down m6 we saw 2 bikers join onto motorway just up ahead-we caught up and it were them but we pulledoff shortly after as me and nige were going to have another go at shap-i definitely need new piccie for chickenstrip comp lads! left nige and dave and andy at heysham to catch up with john and van to get me tailpack and that were it-i pulled up in liverpool my ride over-1897 miles long-my bike had on it 1812 miles on it when i left me house to start the ride-in 5 days i'd doubled me mileage and enjoyed every minute of it getting back on boat at liverpool docks my bike looked like it'd been in warzone-bug splattered-you could see the shiny zx9r rider was not impressed nor were the pans rider-but the bandit rider-a squaddie from colchester who had few days of with his dad on anther bike were-and it were their first times on boat-so thinking of what happened to nige-i advised them what to be aware of re tying down bikes-an official from steam packet obviuosly not impressed with this and said accidents never occur-to which i advised she check her log for week ago and keep nose out! sat in first class i thought i must smell-i was sat on one side-and everyone else sat on other-and posh barstards were glaring at me and sniffing-ha home.... i'd like to thank everyone involved in the ride, everyone who was on the ride, everyone who planned the ride, everyone who joined us for the ride, everyone who wished they could've been with us on the ride, everyone who was behind us on the ride, everyone who helped us on the ride, everyones missus's who let us go on the ride, everyone who coughed up with sponsorship for the ride lads-cheers ps me hair was purple.....for about 5 minutes-then somehow it turned pink here we come end2end08 _________________
